Hi Everybody! Today's blog is a little different for me and a bit more difficult as well. Some of you [if not all] know that I suffer from chronic pain. I am 56[nearly] and have been in pain since I was 13. I had a normal [ish] childhood. Migraines were my poison then! The older I got the worse and more often they got!!!
I have always tried to have a positive attitude regardless of what was going on!
Fast forward to now. Chronic pain can and will run your life...I can't do that ,it will hurt too much. i don't dare walk to far, I won't be able to walk tomorrow. I can't do this, I can't do that...until you are ready to scream!!!! Chronic pain is a devil from hell and that is where we want him to go...right back to hell!!! Did you notice I said "him"? LOL
Personally, I have found that the longer I have chronic pain the more it has become "normal". It is like waking up in the morning stiff. Oh that's normal, I can live with that. Oh my knee hurts, but no more than normal I always have back pain,[sciatica], strain and burning in my shoulders, stiff neck, pain and tingling in my arms and legs, and I could keep going but you get the picture. But it is "normal" for me and I have learned to live with it....!. My real enemy is headaches, they have been all along. I literally have a headache every day!! Someone would ask me how I was and I would say "ok, I have a headache...but that is everyday!" It finally hit me last week that having a headache is right there with my other normal pains. I don't say ok, my back hurts or my feet hurt etc... so why am I saying I have a headache? True, I do have one but on a scale of 1-10 maybe it is a 2 or 3 or even a high 4. Are you following me here?
So last week I decided to not say I had a headache when some one asked.. I was going to say Great or Outstanding or Peachy [I like Peachy]! I have done that everyday since last week! The headaches have not changed. i still have pain everyday...But the significance that I give them is much less. They still hurt but the importance is not there anymore. They have become "Normal", not special and not a driving force in my life.
Now if i get a headache, it has to be a 5 or better on that 1-10 scale before I will give it any attention [meds, I only take tylenol or ibuprophen], fussing, cussing, crying[don't recommend this it only makes them worse] or what ever is needed. I have decided very clearly, very deliberately that headaches under a 5 will no longer have any sway over my life. They are "normal". Doing this takes practice and I have to believe it!
A lot of people have much more pain than i have. This may not make sense to you or you might think I am crazy, [ you may be pretty close LOL] but for me...this works!
Thank you so much for letting me ramble!!! Share your pain here if you want! I will always pray for your comfort and strength. Let me know what you think!!! I really do want to know!!!
Please do not think I am make light of chronic pain. i'm not, I am however tired of the control it has over my life. This is how i am taking back a little control!!!
Stay strong and Peachy ♥
ReplyDeleteHi Dini, I try to be strong everyday!!! Some days are easier than others! I am sure you have the same!!! So I am determined [my word of the year] to be Peachy everyday!!! Have a Blessed Day!
DeleteRobin, this makes such perfect sense to me. I refer to my "average" levels of pain as "white noise" or "background noise," something you can de-sensitize yourself to. It's no less there but it is less PRESENT, if you don't focus on it. *hugs* to you.
ReplyDeleteHi Carol, I soooo agree! That is a great way to present too as white noise!!! Love that!!! I really liked your post this morning! It is truly a choice. Not an easy one, but a choice none the less!
ReplyDeleteHave a Blessed Day!!!
*Thank you Robin for sharing, I understand the need to be as positive as possible about how you are feeling. I don't share very often cause it is hard to explain, but you cracked the door so I would like to give it a try!
ReplyDelete*I have not been dealing with my issues of life as long as you have but I belive that I can relate, about 14yrs ago it started with Fibromyalgia pain, then an onslought of other auto-immune system issues came to visit all with no rhyme or reason(idiopathic) for their occurance. And becuase of different treatments other issues have joined the party too!
*Long story short I deal with the fibro, nerve damage, arthritis, lyphadema/lipedema of the legs on a daily basis. I believe that God is my healer no matter what, but I also use Jokes, and a when people ask me how I am, I tell them let me check.....run thru all my issues, and then answer! At first my friends were like what! Now they crack up if I take to long, because that means I forgot I had that pain and now they just reminded me that that place hurt tooo!
Oh yeah one more thing, I have a high metabolism so most drugs don't work! I use tramadol/Utram, tylenol athritis, Ibruprophen, just add Hyland's leg cramps, it seems to help especially now that I am usually in one position for long periods of time.
Hope my sharing hasn't been tooo long or made you feel worse, Just know that everyday we breathe there is another chance for happiness and healing.
Anzia aka Zia Parks
Hi Zia, I am soooo very sorry for your pain...let me say that first!!! Laughter is one of the best medicines ever!!! God is truly our Healer!!! that being said, while we are where are and feel how we feel, how we deal with it can and does make all the difference. Your sharing is wonderful, do not ever feel like you can't share with me. If it is more private just pm me. I put this saying on my facebook page when I go nite nite sometimes. I want to give it to you personally so you will know it is for you specifically. "Always remember you are always in my prayers and in my heart. Love you and GOD BLESS" Hope you have a BLESSED WEEK!!! Hugs and Prayers!!!
DeleteRobin, I love your new attitude, and I think it will serve you well! Additionally, you might find that focusing more on positive stuff will bring more of it to you!
ReplyDeleteSmooches and hugs to you my friend!
C
I do soooo agree with you Christine!!! Being positive is so much more fun than not ...you know what I mean??!!! this new attitude is kind of fun too. I'm thinking...hmmm. I have a headache...no wait, where is it on the scale???...2,3,4 nope not a headache...just another pain. It is just so funny but by relegating it to just another pain, I don't obsess over it as much!!!LOL Hope you have a Blessed week!
ReplyDeleteI have always told myself "don't let the pain define you" - then it (HE) wins !! It's a daily battle but I try to always look for the positive in each day. Blessings
ReplyDeleteIt is a daily battle!!! But just like any athlete, the more we practice, the more we work on being positive the more strength we gain and the more our daily battles become...less! So I am determined to be positive and stay that way!! LOL Have a Blessed day!!
ReplyDeleteRobin, Anzia and others here who shared. You have all opened the door for me to squeak thru and share a tiny bit. I, too, have suffered from fibromyalgea since 2002, when I first came down with Chronic Fatigue. I have survived the CFS but the fibro has settled in with allodynia as the main symptom. What is that??? I just learned myself, after a year of increasing nerve pain in my skin. It is a sensitivity to touch of all sorts. Where most people feel the brush of a feather as soft, I feel like being touched by a blow torch. I cannot wear most of my old blouses now, and it has impacted my daily life in so many ways. There is NO pain reliever that I can take. I am very fortunate in that beading is a great distraction for me. I don't feel the pain when I am active, but I sure do afterwards. But it is worth it to have those hours of distraction and to be productive. I am learning to live with my pain, and I hope that eventually, I can look at pain as you all do.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading this and letting me tell my story :)